It’s 15Th here in India and so I will say Belated Happy Valentine’s Day. I almost forgot this date until someone reminded me about it sometime during mid-day. An E-friend was worst – his friends reminded him at midnight. We talked about it on meebo this morning. Here’s what we conversed:JB: good morning!
SK: good morning!
JB: hey, yesterday night when friends called me i came to know that it was valentine day! ha ha. how did you celebrate?
SK: did nothing
SK: happy valentines day, belated though.
JB: yes, same to you! actually, sane are those people who never celebrate it. there’s no need to.
SK: why do you think that?
JB: Some St. valentine died for the sake of love in the west and here in the orient the youth is all mad about celebrating it…ha ha!
SK: true. But then its OK, some people wait for this day to make it a perfect proposal
JB: yes that is the case – people need reason! but i have a personal thinking. if ever i also fall a victim of this stupid thing called love, (though i will try not to). but if ever, i wont wait for valentine’s day, i wont wait for reason…there”s no reason in love.
SK: that’s quite unpragmatic
SK: i think if someone falls in love, then no reason is enough to stop him love that person. it becomes unconditional overtime
JB: yes, unconditional is the true virtue of love. though i haven’t seen one true love as the world says…but if at all there is one, it is pure!
SK: it somehow never begins unconditionally
JB: good, you are smart. that’s what the point is. it never “begins” unconditionally, it always starts with conditions. people seek conditions(though they pretend to do anything for their loves) – they see looks, they seek behaviour, the seek ‘something’. that’s why i stay away from it, i don’t want to be a fool to convince myself that i can also love. i can’t. the day i lift myself, i will be an actual lover! (like Joseph – if you remember that story i wrote)
SK: it never works that way….love at first sight is untrue, it develops as one learns about the other person. At first one has a notion of a perfect beloved….but as one grows nearer to a person overtime, it gets unconditional, it sees only virtues and adjusts with the vices.
JB: yes, i agree. you have a mature view towards the world.
SK: it got to be pragmatic
JB: as in?
SK: falling in love starts with reason, pragmatism.
JB: oh,OK. you sound like a prodigy of William James! ha ha
SK: who was that?
JB: psychologist who gave the theory of pragmatism!
SK: never heard him
JB: he is quite old now. he was active at the time of Freud. moreover, neuroscience has overshadowed the psychologists – they are now as good as philosophers. only theory, no practical implications!
I do not believe in waiting for 14Th Feb to propose love, but then its just another namesake day. People will perhaps say after few years of (hopefully) happily married life – “Hey, I proposed you on the Valentines day..” while the others will remember – “Hey I asked you on 10Th of May two years ago…”
But it does develop, it awaits, it learns, it understands, it finds comfort in silence, it gets blind when it accepts the vices, it appreciates the virtues, it gets frank and open, it is loyal and honest, it becomes the strength, it accepts others integrity and independence, and it is possessive.
And if it develops, there is a reason(I like him because….); you don’t need reason(a day) to propose love – it simply happens over time, it becomes unconditional over-time. Proposal, perhaps, is simply an explicit expression.
If that ever happens, don’t look back…